Apples.. big ones. But only one! Just, one. “The.. apple. The BIG apple!” Or is it some other fruit?

I sought, and I found. My assessment.

This is an excerpt from my actual, tangible, paper-and-pen JOURNAL, written today.
Some things have been omitted and, who knows, I might add in a “thing or two.” 🙂 Enjoy.
Jose drove us here (in my car). Jan slept in the backseat and I enjoyed observing everything around me along the way — taking it all in like a sponge.. images, sounds, smells and energy just passing continuously through my pores. We drove. I saw buildings that were tall enough to scrape the sky (is there a name, or term for that?).. beautiful women dressed in elegant, feminine dresses and others wearing only a long, (presumably, men’s) flannel sleeping shirt. I saw garbage cans fenced into housees, grafittied walls and multiple shops that claimed, on signs hanging from a window or gracing the top, that they supplied “best sandwich in town.” On one building (non-food), at an awesome height on the wall, was spray painted “babyface,.. egg yolk,.. was not here.” New York City is very territorial, fast-paced, cluttered, littered and sophisticated. It’s madness; it’s disorienting.
And this was at 9 in the morning.
Life is so much more beautiful, and meaningful, when it is lived quietly, soberly – in the midst of craziness; when the mad rush of voices and speeds and ideas and images are bombarding the being, and it is able to maintain a calm, sustain it’s isolation, and assert it’s detachment from each and all. It (this condition or, experience) reinforces the “I,” which is “you..” and if I read this back to myself, even “I” am included. All of us – each and every.. we can all go mad and the whole world knows; we can all be sane and the world just, doesn’t care. If we want attention, we must be extremely – something. There has to be something special that exists in or about us, – and that “special something” must be very distinct and developed, to be defined as noteworthy, praise worthy,
However, in retrospect (this is one of those ‘add-on’ things I had warned might happen..) One can actually go mad, and no one will know. It’s possible. But, most of the time, people love to notice the negative..

and that brings up another question;

is going mad necessarily, negative? What if cicrumstances are so that, escaping – mentally, emotionally – from them and entering a NEW mindset is actually.. better? For that person? And what if this improvement for them isn’t detrimental to society?

Sure, that sounds good.. but what about Christ? ahh.. see how confusing this can be? I’m closing.


Today was another day that I lived – and there was a wide spectrum of emotions and discoveries inherent in this one experience, this exploration – of NYC, NY.

Oh, my ears heard–my eyes BEHELD–so many awesome normalities today.. things that, in other states, would be crazy, or dullfully muted,.. things that would be ridiculous, looked down upon –

but here, they are marvelous.

They are essential.

They are “the way of the local” and they are SCENE.

I so have this deep longing in me to capture, in photograph, those things — feelings, emotions, circumstances,.. raw, honest human moments, that cannnnnnot be staged– reality, unedited – truth, uncensored. It is what it is.

Today, I saw two gay men “hitting” on eachother. One playfully slapped the other as they stood face to face.

Today, I saw a herd (thats dehumanizing; a largeeee group – small school class sized) of Jewish children scampering about their parents, full of engery and innocence, undergoing – inevitably – their training to realize (that they are) and be “superior minded,” and “more physically valuable” than all other races.

This day, I saw a man dance along the sidewalk of a busy road, raising his boombox (I wonder, was it stolen? did he buy it? is it borrowed?) to head level. I saw a woman load up a truck so she could move away, I saw a man open up the lobby entrance of his apartment and bring out and mount his bike (the modern, energy-powered horse) and begin riding down the streets of Brooklyn with many, countless others. I saw a taco truck, with all of the food it offered written on regular, lined paper, taped onto the sides of the vehicle, cart after cart being pulled by Italian ice vendors, preachers (self or God sent?) on street corners with foghorns, dogwalkers, masses hurrying along with Snapple or fancy coffee cup in hand, children crossing streets with their hands gripping on to a loved one, people happy, people sad, people angry, people lonely – a thousand hearts, just breaking and bleeding – whether they were smiling or not,– it happens,

it’s happening.

Most profound of all, was the obvious and amazing reconciliation of these locals sentiments and lives: complete independence in personal initivative, dream following, purpose finding – and total dependence on everyone around them.. eye contact or not, handshake or no contact, first-name-basis or “that could be anyone.” The awesome truth is, NYers thrive because their system is that of creative, individual, collective STATUS. NY’ers, are FAMOUS. Atleast, they feel like they are — they believe it’s true. It has to be!

Because everyone around “me” is a fan.

Anyways, NYC was precisely what I imagined it to be – exactly as I had pictured.. and, it was better – because although I love and admire brokenness, abandonment, and awful neglect –

the whole city – or, collection of cities – coheres. Makes sense. Exists.. orderly and naturally..

And I do not say “orderly” to mean that it is quiet and peaceful and easy going; no, no, it is NONE of that. People there, work hard – live fast.. have to keep up, or must leave. But it’s a healthy energy; it’s a youthful, artsy, beautiful, enduring VIBRANCY.. and existence.

Enduring! .. what is so beautiful, so altogether LOVELY, so incredible and fascinating – is that (to call anything “enduring”) it’s the most elementary, gripping, fanciful


And that everyone believes its true.

And everyone lives.. like it’s true.

-Aun Aqui

AND BTW, my pictures SUCKED, due to haughty leadership and, following, lack of opportunity. About 70% of captures were taken from the passenger seat of our “not-going-to-slow-down-for-this-nonsense” car.  I’ll lie and reassure myself with “some other time” affording opportunity. It’s what everyone does, and it’s so nice to believe.


Wow, that’s an expression I’ve NEVER used before, but it’s teeming with creativity and oddness. So!

Things I found.. nice.

1. An ice cream man waved at me as I took his picture.. and tons of innocent, uninvolved and unsuspecting individuals allowed me to photograph them. I didn’t ask, and they didn’t refuse or call me out on it.. well, the few who did didn’t stop me. 🙂

2. After the Bible study at Brother Edgard’s house, as we all breathed a hearty “amen” and began to rise from a season of prayer, one of the Spanish (Dominican Republic) men continued to hold my hand and helped me stand. I found it to be very thoughtful, chivalrous and gentleman-like! I also like to remember moments, incidents such as these. 🙂

3. As I was sitting in sadness (Yes, outright sulking, after being condemned/ reproved for taking an excessive amount of pictures on Sabbath.. no comment), a pack of (leashed and controlled) kanines began to approach Jan and I. “THATS IT!” I resolved, “Enough.” I GRABBED the camera and captured forever those furry little bundles of innocent, undying, faithful, unconditional love. The dogwalker must have perceived my interest, because he stopped about 3 feet short of where I was and restrained the dogs, allowing that I might get my picture. I thanked him heartily, conversed for a brief moment, murmered aloud how God had made such interesting creatures and welcomed all of the puppies (big.. yes, they were full grown) into my arms.

For real this time,

ahem. *creates dramatic air*

-Aun Aqui

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Personal stories, lengthy rants, and lighthearted explosions of optimism, all neatly bundled into one blog.

One thought on “Apples.. big ones. But only one! Just, one. “The.. apple. The BIG apple!” Or is it some other fruit?

  1. Skyscrapers is the term you were looking for. The unfortunate joys you found so entertaining were more sinister beneath the surface. To you I say bravo: at least someone can still see the innocence of life.

    I do not mean that sarcastically, merely with sincerity, I tip my hat to you for your innocence and almost childlike enthusiasm. May you always enjoy life as such.

    Reading your account of the city seemed to almost describe another and completely different one from that which I have known. I suppose I should thank you for your refreshing perspective.

    Treasure the little niceties, never know when they will flee away into the encompassing advance of sinister suspicion.

    Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen

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