[ June 4th, 2010 ]
And how am I to see
these black walls.
And am I supposed to be
And can I really believe
that a heart just like my own
Could committ itself so fully,
could give it’s all in all
Is there a reserve
that you keep hiding beneath the surface
that is covered with flowers,
And if I look away
and then I close my eyes
and IF I wake up in the morning
to watch the sun rise
Will I be alone
like I now anticipate
or will you be there beside me
will your love remain?
If you’re there, please hold me
and if you’re not, I know
that i’ll find on the pillow beside me
a flower, a gift, a song.
Because every song, it sounds like you
and in every picture, I can find your smile.
and Every day, I promise, I look for you
and find success maybe “once in a while.”
I hate the intermittent,
I hate the inbetween.
I wish you’d say you’re sorry-
So yes, improv prosing is an enjoyment of mine lately.
Today, was nice.
Jan and I (along with our two other classmates) practiced presenting Daniel 2 studies. I felt like I did pretty well, praise GOD! The transitions were smooth, the thoughts well developed and fairly well supported.. my only concern is that, naturally, expressing myself very heavily physically (with gestures and movements), I think I can be a distraction. So, I need to keep that under control.. be more aware of the audience and encourage questions/ inspire interaction. Also, there’s a fineeee balance to be reached: blending humility with confidence, and harmonizing friendliness with “professional” behavior. The instructor pointed out that I needed to be abit more.. was the word he used, solemn? SOBER. That was it. Be sober, Amber Rose.
So yeah, it’s pretty interesting.. I’m learning about teaching techniques and, really, just how to communicate and share with other human beings in an intelligent and effective way. The science of the mind.
I still feel abit displaced, but, it’s neat how resilient we mortals are! I am adjusting, accepting what I cannot change (for, though not bound, I simply cannot leave here.. it’s where I know I should be right now and to leave would be to displease God and let the exaggerated “everyone” down). If this is His purpose, I will not stay His hand.. and if this is His purpose, neither would I WANT to (stay His hand)! God knows what is best; I must trust Him. This is practical faith, brethren. Talking trust, and faith.. so easy. We have that DOWN.
That’s a wholeee different world. And right now, I’m in it.
So yes. I took some nice pictures yesterday, some NY photography.. out in the boondox, so they aren’t city shots — instead, life in it’s natural beauty and simplicity. A tree.. a dead snake.. wood.. a leaf and flower bunch (friends). Yep!
Well, that’s all for now. These updates must be boring for YOU.. but, they help make sense of my life. Journaling is like, shoe strings.. and life is the shoe. Or, journaling is the pie crust – and life is the filling.. or,
journaling is a book,
and life is it’s contents. 🙂
haha, duh. -Aun Aqui