A post about the drudgery and monotony of living this modern, technologically advanced, intellectually superior, sophisticated and charming
(note: in the following entry, no corporate/company names or titles shall be given, so that I won’t be found in a place of condemnation for recounting my life story)
So I was called into the office yesterday (3/3/2011), at my work, and asked to sit down. I did so, gladly. My hands were sweaty, and my body stiffened as I tried relaxing myself into the soft backing of a blue, padded chair. The two managers present in the office with me both attempted weak smiles, but I could already tell.
I’m going to be rejected.
“Rose,” the gentleman began, “we’ve heard about your interest in the full-time position that has become available at your branch, and we are very grateful for your enthusiasm.”
Let me begin my saying, that this manager is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Truly.
It not only radiated from his voice and his bearing, but from his words and his tone of voice. He was so empathetic, sincere, and gentle. His calming presence made the entire rejection-meeting easier for me to process and handle (emotionally).
“Unfortunately, we’ve spoken with your manager, and she just doesn’t feel like you’re where you should be, at this point, with you’re training.. that you aren’t prepared to take on the responsibility that a full-time teller possesses, and that to promote you to such a position – at this time – would be unfair both to you and to our members.”
It hit me like a brick.. and yet, I seemed to feel nothing at all. I was, by prayer, transported to another place, where I didn’t need to cry, or protest, or defend myself. I simply knew that this was destined; that I had already been here before, in the chair, being rejected and delicately consoled. I nodded my head and agreed with everything that was said.
And that was it. 5 minutes, in and out. No, I don’t have any questions. No, I won’t become discouraged.. yes, I’ll try applying for the next position that becomes available. The decision was made and I was now able to start allowing my mind to adjust, settle, re-organize and re-strategize. Where do I go from here.
Really, I kinda knew where they were coming from.
Having worked solely in the drive-thru for 3 months hurt my endeavor of mastering all MSR procedures. There, in the “pit,” I was confined to the execution of three very basic transactions: deposits, withdrawals, and loan payments. When it came to opening or closing an account — opening or “cashing out” a cd — disbursing official checks, money orders and the like – I had been somewhat.. clueless. Over time, by observation and minimal experience, I was able to fully understand how one produces money orders, official checks, cashier’s checks, and temporary checks (and was able to do the said transactions). I also learned, during the short periods of time when one of the tellers had gone to lunch and the lobby was too busy for just the other to handle, how to do “cash advances” (payments with a credit or debit card) and how to make credit card payments. I was told, two weeks back, that in order to enrich my training I would be given two weeks on the front line, and that one of the full-time tellers would take my place in the drive thru. Resultant, in the past week and a half, I have opened several accounts, reinstated two, and closed two. I also closed out a certificate of deposit yesterday. I feel much more competent, knowledgeable, independent in my decision making and ready to embrace the stresses and challenges of full-time teller work. But.. when it comes to reporting my success and advancement to my manager, all courage and confidence flees.
I just wish I would have received opportunities to get the experience sooner, before it was too late.
Regardless, my beautiful and wonderful mother has been a source of strength. I walked back into work following my lunch break today and after sitting down, unlocking my drawer and preparing myself to function for the public, I pulled up my email account and read beautiful words that she had typed out in a letter to me.. familiar words that I had heard before, forgotten, and needed to remember:
For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: He putteth down one, and setteth up another. Psalm 75:6,7
And so.. I figure..
why on earth do I need to worry, complain or fret?
God is all-wise, all-knowing, full of love and all-powerful!
If He has led me safely thus far.. why would He continue in any other way? And why should I think or fear or believe that He would continue in any other way — in a way that would destroy or harm me? Hasn’t He assured me, in His word, that “(He) knows the thoughts that (He) think towards (me)? Thoughts of peace, and NOT of evil?”
So I’ve realized, as a fully developed and (more) mature nineteen year old, that we, as humans, really do live for the weekends. We work, labor and slave away all week to absolutely ensure that when our time for rest does come, we thoroughly enjoy, completely appreciate and entirely crave it.
I used to be very idealistic, optimistic and all that -istic jazz. “You should enjoy your job and working because you’re going to spend half of your life doing it! Make the best of it! Enjoy every moment! CarpefreakingDIEM.”
Now — the more seasoned, experienced, tired me realizes that those 40 hours a week I’d love to be spending with my husband and puppy are devoted to other people and (in the grand “scheme of things”) unimportant things. And then the two-day weekend I’m blessed with finds me so overrun and worn out that the energy I wish I had is gone. Instead of being my old, fun, care-free, energetic, spontaneous, crazy and life-loving self, I’m yawning. I’m dreading Monday. I’m slowly counting down and earnestly grasping every single hour and moment of freedom remaining to me.
I’m living for the weekend.
This past weekend was unique. Usually, our weekends are bright, sunny, event-packed, smile filled, go to fast and leave us satisfied and filled with happy memories. This past weekend sort of.. sucked!
First of all, Saturday, went way too fast. Church breakfast began at 8:30 and as Chris was asked to provide three dozen bagels from Panera for the event (the which he had bought the day before), he felt it his duty and responsibility (as the “bagel expert”) to arrive early enough to ensure that the bagels were cut “correctly.” Anyways, breakfast ended at 9:30 and sabbath school began. I helped teach in the E-teens class. Sabbath school ended at 10:30 and the thirty-minute intermission between sabbath school and church flew past us. Church started at 11:00.. it ran until about 12:20. The nominating committee (of which I am a part) met directly after, ate a lunch that was provided, and began the meeting itself around 1. We were all there until 2:30. Chris picked me up and in addition to being tired(Bruster had kept us up the night before and lengthy church services make me sleepy), my morning headache had returned. We had made plans to take Bruster to the park that afternoon and.. alas, outside, it rained. Our evening schedule read “Go to the Harriman’s first annual BONFIRE and have a blast!” and.. alas, it CONTINUED raining.
So, Saturday.. yeah.
We overbooked ourselves.
We got up, cleaned the house spotless, took Bruster to the park (since his Saturday “fun day!” fell through), came home and showered, went grocery shopping, headed over to his friends house for a sort of reunion/ cookout, and came home at about 5. By that time, I was — again — yawning and tired, and Bruster (the puppy of perfect timing) ate my phone.
Yes, he ate it.
He didn’t ingest it (I prevented him), but he definitely would have forced it down his throat had he been given enough time and had he NOT caught Chris’s attention.
This is what happened. I had been laying, comfortably, on the couch, and decided to get down onto the floor where my puppy sat.. to hug him. As a mother, I fully realize that despite my condition of weakness and personal fatigue I still have responsibility to nurture my pet and shower him with love, affection and etc. So, as I hugged him and Chris stared, Bruster got up off of my lap and began walking away.
“ROSE! He has your PHONE!”
He did, and it was too late. Razor-sharp puppy teeth marks littered the screen and the silver backing of the phone.. half of the screen was comprised of insane, bizarre lines and the other half somewhat maintained the image of the familiar, but vague background I had grown accustomed to. “Oh no, Chrisss! What am I going to do? This SUCKS..”
I immediately entered “cry whine whine” mode and Christopher assumed the “super daddy” role.
“It’s okay, baby — let’s hurry, we might make it to the Sprint store before six!”
So we hopped into the car, put the pedal to the medal and made it there by about 5:52. I walked in and consciously (it didn’t take too much effort) tried to look “upset.” (Upset customers always get what they want, right?)
Long story made shorter, I explained my circumstances and was told that after paying a 50-dollar deductible, my phone would be shipped to me overnight. “So I can’t just get a new phone now? here? in the store?”
“No, I’m sorry ma’m, but as soon as you call in, make your claim and pay us money we’ll be more than happy to inconveniently ship a new phone to you.”
So, we did. It should be arriving today (Tuesday).
It’s almost time for me to “head off” to work: on the agenda for today, serving at OLIVE GARDEN from 11:30 until the “lunch business decline.” Chris and I have been wanting to get haircuts, so if we can book a last-minute appointment with our regular stylist, we’ll be handling that today as well.
Life is busy, life is great –
the joy just never ends!
Money and time consume your mind
and force you to break or bend.
Life is busy, life is great!
Something new happens everyday
Like your doggy decides to eat your phone,
and thoughts of promotion vanish away –
And you’re left in your party array
with no joy, no phone, and no pay.